a small wobble..

rolled ankles, grazed knees and conceding a retreat.

today was my first retreat or as I thought of it in the moment, a fuck this shit o’clock. my evening plans didn’t quite go as expected and I write this sitting in a gigantic motel bed in Port Fairy with a tummy full of Pad Thai and a glass of Riesling (which will inevitably become the bottle). this morning I woke up to light rain and ferns and forest all around. I had booked a campsite along the Glenelg River and revelled in the remote peace of the place. I lazed in my tent, drank several cups of coffee while finishing up my book before heading into Portland to plot and plan. I had two free camp options lined up for the evening. the first was back up and off the highway, inland and set back in a forest. there was plenty of space and I was excited to set up camp, except the ground was weirdly hard and I struggled to get my tent pegs in. the tent sites were frustratingly squares of hard gravel that was not at all suitable for tent pegs, despite the fact there sites were exclusively and purposely for tents. after struggling for thirty minutes I conceded defeat and decided to head to my second option.

the second option was down on a river, this time the Fitzroy River, right at the mouth. this site was glorious, wide open expanses of grass that my tent pegs slid pleasingly into like a knife in butter. two large caravans were blocking part of the road so I pulled off the side and was about to impulsively set up my tent. instead I stopped, decided to take a walk to the toilets to see how close they were and if there were any better sites along the way. plus some older men drinking beers from what looked like a relatively permanent caravan were staring at me and I felt a bit uncomfortable. sure enough as I began my walk towards the toilets one of the beer swilling men approached me to ask if I was camping and when I said yes, he told me I had left my car headlights on. my car beeps at me if I leave the lights on and until this day have never, ever left my lights on. what an embarrassment. my oversight rectified (and pleased to realise these men were not unreasonably staring at me), I continued on my walk to the toilets to see how long I would need to be walking in the dark and potential rain, judging by the growing grey clouds . a very long way I was concluding as I walked down the road when suddenly I was sideways on the floor, my ankle pulsing in pain. I walked straight into a pot hole, rolled my ankle under and had gone down quite heavily on my hands and knees. thankfully no one witnessed my second moment of stupidity and shame but myself. my palms were burning from the hard contact and I could barely walk on my ankle as I kept hobbling down that incredibly long road.

by the time I made it to the toilets and back down the towards my car (avoiding the very obvious pot hole that I just fell down) I had decided three strikes and I was out. I have my next multi-day hike in two days. I have campsites and bus tickets and accomodation all booked around specific dates. I’m not risking hurting my ankle further setting up my tent and walking down that road in the dark at least two or three more times across my overnight stay. I rolled this ankle right before I did the Cape to Cape and my gut feeling is saying fuck no, get out and rest up. I chat to the boomer wives whose husbands are deliberating where to park their gigantic caravans that are blocking the road and they also concur - go to a motel. I mention it to their boomer husbands, who are eyeing the spot where my car is currently parked, and when I explain why the can have my spot, they tell me to drink a cup of concrete and harden up.

regardless, I’m pulling the pin on camping tonight. I drive out of sight, pull over and book a motel for the night thirty minutes down the road and feel instantly better. when I give way to drive back onto the highway I realise one of my knees must be bleeding because my leggings are stuck to my knee and which is burning with pain. I pat myself on the back for my very excellent choice to abandon camp. even as I type this the rain pours down and I raise my glass of wine because I’m warm and dry and comfortable. I have no qualms with camping in the wet, I did it last night, but sore, bleeding and with a swollen ankle that is painful when I try sit crossed legged? that is too much for someone who had planned to sleep in a tent. I blast some The Getaway Plan to shout sing along to as I drive, laugh at me and my pitiful condition and feel smug in my ability to problem solve for myself without giving into tears or anger.

I discover I have to check myself into my motel, which is great. I confirm that indeed, my knee is cut and bleeding. my leggings are soaked with blood and I thankfully have the ability to wash them out with soap to dry overnight. I wash my hair ready for a fresh day of activities tomorrow. I throw a bottle of wine I bought in the Coonawarra in the fridge, order Thai online and cue up some trash TV to watch. a huge treat and indulgence for someone who has been camping the past six nights and who is about to embark on a seven day hike that in all likelihood will be damp. I have zero regrets for this impulsive indulgence and look forward to a languorous sleep in tomorrow morning. I earned it.

I’ve been waiting for my first speed hump, my first test of what happens when it all goes wrong. I mean, I’m aware this situation isn’t all that bad. my ankle will heal, I could have managed camping. perhaps I should have toughed it out? but I hold no guilt over my decision. I dusted myself off, made a snap decision and laughed over my own ridiculousness. I’m under no illusions that worse will go wrong at some point on my travels but this fills me with faith that I can pick myself up, swollen and bleeding, off the dusty road and keep going, without tears or feeling sorry for myself, make a decision and action it. travelling isn’t all sunshine and roses (particularly in Victoria, state of grey skies and misty rain). there are shitty days when the best laid plans go awry and the vibes are off. there are also days when you are an idiot and leave your car lights on and fall over because you didn’t see the giant hole in front of you. you win some, you lose some and I hope someone else will enjoy a laugh at my expense.

*photos of last night’s idyllic campsite, just to prove I can do it right sometimes.